Daffodils
by FamiliarFeels
Summary: Why, out of anybody the universe could have given him, his therapist had to be Finn.


**Month One**

"So, how are you feeling today?"

Dean looks up to his doctor with an annoyed glare. It had been few weeks since the car accident and every week since then, life had turned gray all around him. Nothing felt real. Every time he fell asleep, he could still picture the horrid experience. It took just one drunk driver and that changed almost everything. Nobody was killed, luckily, but Dean couldn't lie to anyone by saying he wasn't hurt. Sitting in his wheelchair was proof enough that he had suffered the most damage out of that crash.

Dr. Hardy, or Jeff as he liked to be called, had taken the role of assisting him to his recovery, but it had been hard to bounce back even with the extra visits to the clinic.

"I feel...like shit."

Jeff lets out a quiet laugh. "Oh, Dean. Always the straightforward type when it comes to your appointments."

"I just don't know what else I keep coming here for. You tell me stuff I already know."

Jeff seemed unfazed by his words. "Have you started on those injury rehabilitation sessions yet for your legs?"

"Yeah. It's...okay. I really want to know if that's all. I want to go home."

"Don't worry, Dean. I checked everything for you and with some work in those recovery sessions, you should be healed within a few months. It all depends on how hard you work for it, though. But I also made you come in today because I'm concerned about you. Have you been eating? Getting enough sleep? I've known you for years and I'm worried that the accident you were in has caused you to become a shell of your former self."

It wasn't surprising at all to hear Jeff say that. Dean had heard it from many other people since the crash happened. What was he supposed to do? Smile and pretend that he felt thankful for everything and not deal with the fear that he may never walk again? He wanted to be snarky and say 'no, shit' that he wasn't himself and probably never will be again. But it's not like it was Jeff's fault. He was only doing his job.

He decided to only shrug in response and Jeff nods.

"I recommend setting up an appointment with a psychologist for the weekends. It's common for someone like you to be stressed and anxious after a traumatic accident. Talking about it may help you during your recovery process."

Dean slides the wheelchair back and forth, not really wanting to look at Jeff. "I don't really do stuff like that."

"It's just a recommendation, Dean. But a strongly advised one. A new psychologist just joined the clinic and I think he can be of great help to you."

Dean knew that Jeff was going to say the choice was ultimately up for him to make, but Dean knew what would happen if he turned down the idea. He couldn't deny forever how he was feeling, it would only render his condition worse. If he turned down the recommendation, Roman and Seth would just be pestering him on why not and he really didn't need them on his case more than they already were.

"Fine," Dean mutters hesitantly. "I'll make an appointment. But only because I need a place to kill time for the weekends. This new psychologist, what's his name?"

"Mm, Dr. Balor, I think it was."

Dean's face visibly paled. He recognized the surname from when he was a teenager, but there was no way that it was the same person. That man left his life a long time ago. It was mostly just his mind overthinking it. Dean waves off Jeff before he asks what's wrong and promises to set up the earliest appointment to meet this new therapist of his.

The following weekend, his heart stops when he sees him.

Dean was hoping that the familiar name was just a coincidence. But there he was and Dean knew right away that it was him. He knew that smile and those beautiful blue eyes behind glasses anywhere. Dean was never the religious type but he swore that Finn was blessed by angels considering the fact that he had matured to be even more attractive then he was in high school. The first thing that changed about Finn was that he had a beard now and even with the fancy clothes, Dean could tell how muscular he had become.

What Dean couldn't understand was why, out of anybody the universe could have given him, his therapist had to be Finn. He didn't hate Finn, far from it, but it seemed odd. Finn moved away years ago, there was nothing in this town for him. Seeing his smiling face again made old memories come back. But with that smile, Dean could see a sympathetic look in his eyes.

"I knew it wasn't an accident." Finn helps Dean push the wheelchair in before closing the door. "Imagine my pleasant surprise when I found out you were my first patient." He pauses momentarily. "Dean, it's really great to see you again. Really. I never thought...well, I thought you moved away from this place over the years."

"It's awesome seeing you too, Finn. Or should I call you Dr. Balor now?"

A small chuckle. "No, no. Finn is just fine."

"Finn, if anything I wouldn't have expected _you_ to come back. What gives? You moved away to the big city years ago."

Finn shrugs and takes out a notepad. "Finally earned my degree and figured coming back home didn't sound too bad. They offered me an opportunity here."

Dean doesn't buy it only nods at the explanation until he sees something shiny reflecting on one of Finn's fingers. "You got married too?"

Finn is taken aback by the question at first. "Oh. I'm engaged, actually. Been engaged for a few months. He's...he's really sweet, Dean. I should introduce you sometime. I think you'd really like him."

Those words hit Dean like a train. Or in this case, it hurt as much as the accident he was in. Maybe the feeling of your first love never went away, but he thought that he got over Finn long ago. Meeting him again was like a slap to the face and Dean wanted to feel happy for him. So why didn't he, he wondered. He hated the layers of emptiness that had consumed him for almost a month. He couldn't even feel happiness that his ex-boyfriend from high school found someone new and was getting married.

"Well, uh...I hope he treats you right. Congrats."

"Thank you. Let's go over the reason you're here, shall we? I read in your papers that you were recently injured in a car accident?"

Dean wants to laugh. "I thought that was obvious when I rolled through the door."

"Just a formality. It says you're also taking rehabilitation classes to help get movement back in your legs. Would you like to share with me on how those are going?"

Dean wanted to smile at how easily it was for him to go from Finn to Dr. Balor in a blink of an eye. Finn always had a passion for psychology, it was one of the traits he admired about him back when they used to date. He wanted to know more about what Finn had been doing all these years, why anybody as gifted as him would want to come back to this small town that offered nothing in return. But Finn also had to do his job and now was not the time.

"It's fine. They haven't been doing much for me at the moment. They said I need to take baby steps for now and time out of the house could help me. But…"

"But?"

"I can't drive anywhere, as you can see. Roman and Seth drive me places, but I hate being such a burden on them. And I hate being in the car."

"I see." He nods as he writes notes down. "Dean, I can tell you right now that the fear of riding inside a car is common after an accident. You're terrified that it will happen again and that sort of thing can be very stressful. You and I can work together to help cope with your fear." He puts the pen down and looks up. "You're still friends with Roman and Seth, huh?"

"Yeah. We live together."

"You three always were inseparable."

"I wouldn't say that now."

"Why not?"

"There's...I mean, sure, we live in the same place but...nevermind, it's stupid."

"No, Dean, it's not. It's completely fine for you to share."

Finn places a hand on his knee and it nearly causes Dean to shiver. Finn hasn't done that since they were teenagers but it still affected Dean to the fullest. It was always Finn's way of telling Dean that he was listening.

He sighs loudly and puts his head in hands. He loathed the way Finn still did things to him years later.

"I was gonna say that even when we live in the same place, we aren't as close as we used to be. Before the accident, those two were doing their own thing and I was doing mine. It's not like we're not friends anymore, we just don't hang out like before. But...it still hurt, a little."

"What about now? You said they drive you everywhere."

"But that's only 'cause of the accident, right? They keep worrying about me because of that."

Finn grips his knee gently. "Dean, it's not just the accident. I haven't been around for years but I know for a fact that Roman and Seth care about you like family. The accident has nothing to do with it."

Dean thought he talked to him more like the Finn he used to know and not the psychologist part of himself.

He didn't know which Finn he preferred.

* * *

 **Month Two**

Things still didn't seem real with Finn back in his life. Every weekend since the first time they had seen each other again, Dean would come down and have therapy sessions with Finn. They were more calming and helpful than he originally thought they would be. Perhaps it was easier to speak his mind knowing that Finn was the one listening and not a complete stranger. He found himself actually anticipating these appointments. But even with those feelings came a longing of the old days.

"And how has your leg rehabilitation been these days?" Finn asks while he finishes writing down on his papers.

"It's getting better. Still can't walk just yet but it's gonna take a while to get there."

"That's good news." A nod and Finn shuts off his computer. "Well, Dean, looks like you and I can call it a day. Time's up for this session."

An hour flies by fast whenever he's with Finn. Not really ready to leave his friend just yet, Dean gets an idea.

"I'm your last patient today, right?"

"Mm-hm."

"Wanna join me for lunch then? Roman's gonna take longer to pick me up today anyways."

A curious smile and a drive to their destination later, Finn stops the car in front of a restaurant he has never seen in town before. He figured with it being a small town, he'd recognize everything from before. This was one of the new things that had decided to change.

Helping Dean get back into his wheelchair and find a seat inside, Finn had to ask what the new establishment was.

"Didn't this used to be a laundromat?"

"Yeah, but that closed down a year after you moved. Now it's the best pizza place in town. Seth, Roman, and I used to come here every weekend. Trust me, you'll love it."

"I don't really eat much of this stuff."

"That's because you haven't tried their pizza yet."

Finn just laughs at Dean's persistence and trusts his word. Even after all these years, he hasn't changed. Finn only wished that he could make Dean smile as much as he did. He recollected in one therapy session that Dean hadn't smiled much since the accident. Finn had made it his mission since then to get Dean to smile as much as he could. It was always one of his best traits, Finn had thought.

Biting into the freshly made pizza, Finn was sure Dean noticed his eyes widen with delight at the taste.

"I admit it, it tastes pretty good."

"See?"

"Makes me wonder if there are any other new places around town. Or even the old places we used to go. I've been so busy with work and my relationship that I haven't had the chance to get nostalgic."

Dean's mood suddenly drops, wishing he could take Finn around like old times without having the fear that he might screw up another car. There was thankfulness that Finn still felt at home in town, though.

"Tell you what. After my legs get better, I'll show you around on what's changed. It might take months before I get better, but y'know…"

Finn had to think about it. If it was going to take months like the doctor said, Finn would probably have seen everything by then. Regardless, he nods in agreement.

"Exploring this dumb town was always a hobby of ours, huh?" Finn grins thinking of it.

There were instances in the past where they would skip school just to spend time together. That was before Finn had to start thinking of his future and what career he wanted and got serious about it. But that never stopped them from hanging out after school in the past.

"Why did we ever stop talking?"

"Because you didn't want a long distance relationship and the day you left I called you an asshole."

The response makes Finn blush with embarrassment. "Oh, um, yes. That's right."

The expression on Finn's face fills Dean with regret. "Sorry, that wasn't cool. I'm not mad like I was the day you left. We're adults now and judging on how we've been the past month, I guess it's safe to say it's been put behind us."

"But we didn't leave on the best of terms, did we? I could've broken up with you on any other day than the day I moved." Finn shakes his head. "I remember how mad I was at you too."

Dean shrugs it off. "Well, we're here now. That counts for something, right?"

"Yeah. And thanks for inviting me out for lunch."

His words cause Dean to form a small smile and Finn feels like he's scored a victory.

"Are we cool?" Dean asks.

Taking another bite out of his pizza, Finn smirks. "We're cool."

* * *

 **Month Three**

Getting inside a car is much less worrying than it used to be. Dean had Finn to thank for that. Just like he had promised him in their first appointment, they worked together to help cope with his fear. Now, Dean just wanted to admire what was outside the car window than constantly look over who was driving. Finn was like a miracle worker, the way he made Dean feel so relaxed. He found himself smiling more. Finn did everything he could to make sure Dean was feeling good inside.

That's why when Dean checks in for his session the next week and sees the state Finn is in, he grows concerned.

Behind Finn's glasses, Dean could how tired he looked. Eyes glassy with what seem like tears and less focused than he usually is. It's hard getting through the session seeing his ex-boyfriend this way and Dean can't take it anymore.

"Okay, Dean, let's start discussing your rehab-"

"What's wrong?"

Finn doesn't look shocked by the question. He only sighs and removes his glasses to rub at his eyes. Pushing his wheelchair forward, Dean does what Finn would do for him and places a comforting hand on his knee.

"Hey, what's the matter? You don't seem yourself today."

Finn shakes his head. "I'm fine, just tired."

Dean frowns. That was bullshit and they both knew it. Not willing to continue seeing Finn in pain, he asks again what's wrong.

Exhausted, Finn puts his glasses back on. "It's nothing. My fiancé and I are just going through some issues right now. Arguing." He swats Dean's hand away and the motion makes Dean's heart drop. "I'm fine, don't worry about me. Let's get back to the session, yeah?"

As much he hated it, Dean respected Finn's wishes.

But back at his rehabilitation, he couldn't stop thinking about Finn's pained expression. Finn was still the same deep down. Always putting others before himself. It takes the snapping fingers of his rahab coach to snap him out of his thoughts.

"Ambrose! You still in there?" She yells.

"Yeah, Nia. Still here."

"Good. Now try to focus and do what I told you. Try moving those feet of yours. This is gonna be the first step of you walking again if you succeed."

It was easier said than done. A few minutes of concentrating and practically forcing himself, he feels the first foot move. Nia smiles with approval and starts to clap when the other foot moves.

"That's what I like to see, Ambrose!"

"Hey, what'd we miss around here?"

Dean turns his head to see Roman and Seth walk in. They often visited during important times like this. Dean waves over to them while Nia explains to them how the movement in his legs is slowly coming back.

"That's great news, brother!" Roman smiles, hugging him around the shoulders.

"Keep that up, dude. Roman and I are here for you all the way."

Dean only nods in response which causes the two friends to become concerned.

"What's up?" Roman asks.

Dean scoots his wheelchair back. "My legs moving again is great news, don't get me wrong. I'm just thinking of something else right now."

"Got Finn on the brain?" Seth teases.

A single nod and it's enough for his two friends to understand as they push his wheelchair out of the building.

"I'm just worried about him, that's all. And like the past, he won't open up to me."

Seth looks down at him. "Maybe you should give him more time. How about reminiscing? You guys ever talk about the good times you had before you broke up?"

"He acts as if it never happened. It's weird. He's the same Finn I used to know, but at the same time he's different."

"Best not to coax him too much," Roman advises. "Maybe he just needs more time to adjust being back in town? I don't know, you're the one who sees him every week."

"I guess." Dean didn't want to mention Finn's private affairs. He only wished Finn could take his own advice and let people help.

"Hey, why don't we go grab a couple of beers to celebrate your little victory tonight?" Seth suggests.

With a smile, Dean agrees and forgets about the troubles of today for a while.

* * *

 **Month Four**

The day had not been going so well. From the moment Dean had woken up, it seemed as though the smallest things were a challenge. He blamed his mood on not being able to see Finn for two weeks, Finn being to busy with other affairs to see Dean on the weekends. The pressure building in his legs frustrated him as he struggled to stand and move one foot after the other. Words of encouragement from Nia fell on deafened ears as Dean tried to move across.

"Easy, Ambrose. Just remember to breathe and relax. The hardest part is taking the first step."

"I'm...trying…!"

"Don't rush yourself. Just concentrate all your energy into the first step. You don't even need to make it to the other side of the walking bar."

Dean begins to sweat from the nervousness but he wanted to push himself to recovery. Sure, the day wasn't going that well, but he had been rehabilitating for months and this was the day he wanted the progress to show. He couldn't understand why he couldn't do it.

Then the first step was made. And then the next.

"There we go! You're doing it, Ambrose!"

Dean was about to smile himself before his footing was ultimately lost and he loses his grip on the bars, collapsing onto the mat beneath him. Whatever feeling that was in his legs had wiped out. The wind is knocked out of him but nothing hurts worse than the failure he had felt at not completing the task he was given. He hears Nia curse under her breath and it's not long before she helps him off the floor and back into his wheelchair.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You still took a few steps, that's the most important part. Let's take a five minute break and we can try again."

Irritated, Dean shakes his head at the idea. "Actually, Nia, I think I'm gonna call it a day. I have to go see my therapist anyways."

Not willing to argue, Nia just rolls her eyes and agrees. "Okay, I'll let you go. But come back tomorrow so we can try again."

He doesn't give Nia as much as a nod and rolls out of the door.

The car ride with Roman is a quiet one as well. Roman senses the hostility coming off of his friend but doesn't ask, knowing better than to question Dean when he is in one of his moods. He hoped deep down that Finn could help him calm down.

When Dean rolls into Finn's office, they both sense each other's unease. Finn could tell that Dean's afternoon hasn't been the best and guesses that something must've happened. Dean, on the other hand, believes Finn is worse for wear.

"Dean, you're twenty minutes early. Is everything alright?"

"I fuckin' fell trying to make it across the stupid walking bar. Let's face it, Finn. I'm never getting out of this chair!"

"Dean, you're letting your anger get the best of you. Look, let's just begin the session, then we can-"

Suddenly, Dean's eyes land on Finn's hand and notices something he hadn't seen before. "Your ring is gone."

Finn stops what he's doing and lets out an annoyed sigh, almost as though he didn't want Dean to find out. Nevertheless, he confirms.

"Yeah. Unfortunately, my fiancé and I are no longer getting married. We've actually gone our separate ways."

The answer comes as a shock to Dean. "What? What the hell happened?"

"We just wanted different things. Turns out we weren't as compatible as I thought." He shrugs it off. "Forget about it, let's just continue the session, okay?"

"Finn, if you want to talk about it, I'm right here."

Finn shakes his head. "No, Dean. I'm fine."

"You're not fine! Just this once, please, tell me what's wrong instead of pretending everything is alright. You would do anything to help me but never let me help you when you need it. "

"I'm your therapist, Dean. It's my job to help you."

"You know that's not what I meant. I'm talking about even before all this. Back when we were dating, I knew whenever you were upset, you never wanted to let me in."

"That's in the past."

"But you act like what we had never happened!"

"I told you I was fine!"

Dean frowns at Finn's words and decides that coming to see Finn was probably a mistake, especially when they were both in stressful situations at the moment. He raises his hands up in surrender, but his expression remains the same.

"Fine. I can tell that I overstepped a boundary here. Sorry for wasting your time, Dr. Balor."

Finn doesn't say anything in response, content with staring outside his office window instead as Dean makes his way out the door.

* * *

 **Month Five**

"Dean, you're looking great!" Jeff exclaims.

It had taken a lot of hard work, but things had started to look up again. Jeff looked extra enthusiastic watching Dean walk in with a cane in hand. It was a relief to start walking again and Dean owed that to his coach, Nia. After the falling incident, they had both worked twice as hard to get across the walking bar. It was still a struggle sometimes, but Dean kept his head up. The walking cane wasn't forever. He even started driving again, much to the support of Roman and Seth.

"Thanks, Jeff. Took a long time, but I feel better than I've felt in months."

"I can tell. Checking over you, you seem healthier than ever. I think if you keep up the momentum, you could get rid of the cane within another month. By the way, how're those therapy sessions with Dr. Balor going? Pretty well, I take it?"

The mention of Finn makes Dean's smile falter. He hadn't gone to see Finn since their small argument a month ago and Dean felt guilty for never checking back in with him. He often wondered if Finn thought about him too. The way they were not speaking to each other again reminded him of back when they broke up, except this time is was over more stupid things and Dean never called him an asshole.

"I, uh, haven't actually followed up with him in weeks."

Jeff gives him a look at first but seems to understand. "Alright then. Well, I advise you to keep doing what you're doing and pretty soon you won't have to check in with me every other week."

Later that day at the rehabilitation center, Dean keeps up with the leg workouts as best as he can. Closing his eyes to focus, he hears the front doors of the place opening up and figures it's either Roman or Seth coming to pick him up.

Eyes still closed, he grins. "Give me a minute and I'll be ready."

"Good. I was hoping I could talk to you."

His eyes snap open to see Finn standing there, a soft grin on his face. Much like Dean, he looks a lot more like his usual self than before and seeing his face again makes Dean blush slightly.

"Finn. Hey." _Smooth_.

"Hi," Finn giggles. "You're wearing a cane now."

"Yeah, I've been having a lot of progress in recovery."

"That's good news. Is it okay if we talk? You never came back to see me and I didn't know if you even wanted to see me at all. I, um….I didn't want us to stop talking over something stupid like we did years ago."

"Uh, sure, yeah. We can talk. Just give me a few minutes to wrap up and I'll meet you outside."

"Great, thank you."

"Are we talking at your office?"

"I thought we could talk in a place more sentimental."

Dean didn't really understand what Finn meant until the drove to a familiar spot of theirs. It was one of the quietest places in town, the old parking lot near the local park. There were a lot of memories in this certain spot that had the two of them smiling. They would often come here after their dates, that one time Finn wanted to runaway from home, the aftermath of Dean getting drunk on his birthday after finding his mother's hidden alcohol stash. It was also the spot where they had made love for the first time in Finn's car.

It was still daylight outside, the white clouds passing over the sky. On late nights, Dean remembered how they would stargaze on top of the hood of the car together. Judging by how Finn was now seating himself on the hood, it was apparent that he remembered as well. When they are both lying down, they stay quiet for a few minutes just taking in the sounds of the park and looking for different shapes in the clouds.

Finn is the first to speak. "We used to do this all the time. Why the hell did I have to mess it up."

Dean turns his head to him. "You didn't ruin anything. Your parents moved and you went with them."

"I wish I left this place on a better note, though." He sighs heavily. "Left _you_ on a better note. After all we went through together, we could've at least stayed friends."

"What do you call what we are now?"

A soft laugh. "I don't know what you could call us."

"Did you ever miss any of this, at least?"

Finn nods and turns his head to make their eyes meet. "I did. A little too much, I suppose. Graduated from college and I had to think about where to go from there. I need to be completely honest with you here, Dean. Remember when you asked me why I was back in town and I said it was because I was offered an opportunity?"

"Yeah?"

"That was a lie. Truthfully...I came back because I missed home. This damn town is like a whirlpool, always having a way of sucking you back in when you think you're free from it's pull. I missed everything that I grew up with. I missed the memories."

Dean understood too well of what he meant. There have been times where he wanted to move away himself but there was too much to just walk away from what he knew.

Finn continues. "That's why my ex-fiancé and I kept arguing so much. He didn't want to live here with me. Said it was a shitty town and that he never wanted to come here but did it so I would stop talking about it. That's probably why he said it was better that we didn't get married. We fought too much over what we wanted and ultimately...we found out that we wanted different things." He tears up a bit. "I have a terrible habit of pushing the ones I love away, don't I?"

In a comforting matter, Dean pulls Finn close by the shoulders, feeling tears drop on his shirt.

"Well...maybe he just wasn't the one."

"I'm sorry, Dean. I never meant to shut you out, even back then."

"No, it was my fault for getting so mad. You always helped me out when I needed it, so I should've been more patient with you." He looks back up at the blue sky. "You never pushed me way."

"I never talked to you about our past together because you were going through so much as it was from your accident. Thinking on it now, those might've been the days I missed the most about this place."

Dean runs a hand through Finn's hair and gently kisses the top on his head. "I missed you too."

Somehow they had a feeling that everything was going to be okay.

* * *

 **Month Six**

If Dean had to have a word to describe his life now, it would be serenity. Life felt as though it had returned to the way it was, with the addition of Finn back in the picture. No longer carrying a cane and smiling more than ever, Jeff had informed Dean that he could return to doing work and driving again. Finn had also added in his own progress, letting Dean know that his mood was doing so good that he no longer had to keep coming in for appointments with him.

Part of Dean didn't want to end their routine, but knew that he could still see Finn whenever he wanted. He still didn't know what to refer to them together as, feeling as though it was complicated. For now, Dean would just keep referring to Finn as a close friend, even when they tended to flirt with each other every now and then.

Carrying a gift behind his back, he decides to surprise Finn at work, his shift beginning to finish up.

Finn smiles wide when he sees him. "Dean! What are you doing here?"

Still hiding the present, he shrugs with a sly grin. "No reason. Just thought I'd stop by to give you something as a way of saying thanks for all you've done to help me."

"You didn't have to buy me anything."

"But I did and there's no going back now."

When he shows the present, it's a bouquet of daffodils. The gift makes Finn's heart warm, nobody doing something like this for him in a long time.

"Dean, they're beautiful."

"They symbolize new beginnings. Think that's fitting enough for us?"

"I think that's quite fitting," he chuckles. "Care to join me for dinner tonight?"

"I can never say no to you."

Finn is thankful for, of all things he came back to in this small town of theirs, Dean was still here with him. They had both been through an eventful six months together. Dean's accident, Finn's engagement ending, making up for loss time. But that's what made the next six months something to be curious about.

Bending Dean's head down to kiss his forehead, Finn thinks back to their old conversation in the pizza shop. "Are we cool?"

Smiling, Dean pulls him into a hug.

"Yeah. We're cool."


End file.
